Be New Emotional wellness

The Art of Listening: Unlocking Connection, Understanding, and Growth

Listening is more than just hearing the words that someone speaks. It is an essential skill that goes far beyond the surface level of communication. It is the bridge between people, fostering genuine connection, creating understanding, and facilitating growth—both personal and professional. Yet, in our fast-paced world, full of distractions, we often take the act of listening for granted. To truly listen, we must invest time, attention, and care. Let’s dive into why listening is so important, how we can improve this skill, and how it impacts our relationships and lives.

What Is Listening, Really?

At its core, listening is an active process. Unlike hearing, which is simply the physical act of sound entering the ear, listening requires effort. It is the conscious decision to focus on what someone is saying, to interpret their words, and to understand the meaning behind them. Listening involves paying attention not only to the spoken language but also to non-verbal cues, such as tone, body language, and facial expressions.

True listening requires us to suspend judgment and avoid the urge to respond too quickly. It demands patience, presence, and empathy. This is the art of listening.

The Importance of Listening

  1. Building Stronger Relationships:
    At the heart of every strong relationship is effective communication, and at the core of effective communication is listening. Whether in personal relationships, at work, or with friends, being heard can make a world of difference. When you listen actively, you make others feel valued and understood. This creates an environment of trust, which is essential for healthy, lasting relationships.
  2. Enhancing Empathy:
    Listening well allows you to put yourself in someone else’s shoes. By truly understanding another person’s perspective, you develop empathy, which is the ability to feel and understand their emotions. This fosters a deeper emotional connection, and people are more likely to open up to you if they feel you are genuinely listening.
  3. Problem-Solving and Innovation:
    In both personal and professional settings, listening is crucial for problem-solving. When you listen carefully, you gain insights into the underlying issues, which can lead to more effective solutions. Additionally, listening to diverse viewpoints and ideas encourages creativity and innovation. Collaboration thrives when people feel heard and understood.
  4. Personal Growth:
    Listening is also a key to self-improvement. By actively listening to feedback, whether from peers, mentors, or loved ones, we learn more about ourselves. Constructive criticism, when received with an open mind, can guide our personal and professional development.

Barriers to Effective Listening

Despite the many benefits, listening can be surprisingly challenging. There are several barriers that can prevent us from listening effectively:

  1. Distractions:
    Our environment plays a huge role in our ability to listen. Physical distractions, such as background noise or digital interruptions, can disrupt our focus. Mental distractions, like racing thoughts or concerns about the future, can also prevent us from being fully present.
  2. Judgment:
    Sometimes, we listen with the intent to respond rather than to understand. This can cause us to filter what the other person is saying through our own biases, leading to misinterpretation. By allowing judgment to cloud our ability to listen, we miss the opportunity to genuinely understand someone else’s perspective.
  3. Emotional Barriers:
    Strong emotions—either on our part or the speaker’s—can make listening difficult. Anger, frustration, or anxiety can block our ability to truly hear what is being said. These emotions might also make us defensive, preventing us from accepting the other person’s point of view.
  4. Assumptions:
    Making assumptions about what the speaker is going to say before they finish their thoughts can result in misunderstanding. This is often rooted in our desire to quickly resolve a conversation or problem. We might prematurely formulate our response instead of allowing the speaker the space to fully express themselves.

How to Improve Your Listening Skills

  1. Be Present:
    The first step to becoming a better listener is to be fully present. This means setting aside distractions—putting your phone down, making eye contact, and focusing on the speaker. This signals to the other person that you value what they have to say.
  2. Practice Active Listening:
    Active listening goes beyond hearing the words. It involves nodding in agreement, asking clarifying questions, and paraphrasing what the speaker has said. This shows that you are engaged and helps ensure that you understand their message accurately.
  3. Listen Without Judgment:
    Try to listen without forming opinions or responses while the person is speaking. Instead, focus on understanding their perspective. Avoid interrupting, even if you feel the urge to share your own thoughts. The speaker should feel that their thoughts are being honored.
  4. Empathise:
    Empathy is key in good listening. When someone is sharing something personal or emotional, practice empathy by putting yourself in their shoes. Acknowledge their feelings with a simple statement like, “That must have been really tough for you.”
  5. Don’t Rush to Fix Things:
    Not every conversation requires a solution. Sometimes, the best thing you can do is simply listen and provide emotional support. Let the speaker know you are there for them without trying to offer solutions unless they ask for advice.
  6. Give Constructive Feedback:
    When it’s appropriate, offer feedback in a thoughtful and respectful manner. If the conversation calls for a response, ensure that your reply is grounded in the context of what has been said and demonstrates that you were actively listening.

The Impact of Listening

Listening does more than just foster positive relationships—it has the potential to change the world. Leaders who listen well inspire loyalty and collaboration. Teachers who listen to their students build trust and create effective learning environments. In families, listening strengthens bonds and ensures that everyone feels valued.

At its core, listening is a tool for growth. It opens doors to new ideas, facilitates conflict resolution, and enriches our understanding of others. The ability to listen actively and empathetically is, indeed, an art—one that we can all improve with practice. By honing this skill, we not only improve our relationships but also become better, more engaged versions of ourselves.

So, the next time you’re in a conversation, remember: listening is a gift you give to others and, ultimately, to yourself.

Be New Emotional wellness

Unblocking your difficult emotions that are ignored or built up

Emotions are an integral part of our human experience, yet we all process them uniquely. Some of us bottle them up, while others brood over them. Understanding how we manage our emotions is crucial for our mental well-being. Today, we dive into two common emotional styles: bottling and brooding, and how to navigate them effectively.

The Bottler: Keeping Emotions Locked Away

Bottlers often suppress their feelings, viewing emotional expression as a vulnerability. They might avoid emotional conversations, dismiss their own emotions, and even experience physical symptoms like headaches due to unprocessed feelings. This emotional style can lead to difficulties in forming deep connections with others and may manifest in passive-aggressive behavior.

The Brooder: Dwelling on Emotions

Brooders, on the other hand, tend to replay their emotions and situations in their minds, often leading to a cycle of overthinking and anxiety. This constant rumination can hinder problem-solving abilities and contribute to negative self-talk, increased anxiety, depression, and sleep disturbances.

Identifying Your Emotional Style

Recognising whether you’re a bottler or a brooder is the first step towards managing your emotions effectively. Ask yourself:

  • Do I avoid expressing my emotions?
  • Do I replay negative events in my mind?
  • Do I struggle with anxiety or holding grudges?

Acknowledging your tendencies can help you adopt healthier coping strategies.

Strategies for Emotional Management

For Bottlers:

  • Practice Emotional Expression: Start by sharing your feelings with someone you trust.
  • Journaling: Write down your thoughts to help process them.
  • Mindfulness: Observe your emotions without judgment. Accept them and let them pass.
  • Professional Help: Seek guidance from a professional for healthier coping mechanisms.

For Brooders:

  • Challenge Negative Thoughts: Reframe negative thoughts with realistic perspectives.
  • Set Rumination Limits: Allocate specific times for reflection, then shift focus.
  • Practice Self-Compassion: Be kind to yourself, especially during tough times.

Understanding your emotional style and implementing these strategies can lead to better emotional health, improved relationships, and reduced stress. Take the time to explore your emotional landscape and empower yourself to navigate your feelings with intention and awareness.

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The Three Ingredients to manage for healthy emotions

Body Budget, situations and predictions.

Emotions can feel overwhelming and complex, but at their core, they’re built from a few key ingredients. Understanding these components can provide valuable insights into why we feel the way we do and how we can better manage our emotional responses. Let’s explore the three essential ingredients of emotions: your body budget, your current situation, and your brain’s predictions.

Ingredient 1: Your Body Budget

Think of your body as having a budget, constantly tracking resources like energy, glucose, water, and electrolytes. This ‘body budget,’ as Lisa Feldman Barrett calls it, reflects your physical state and impacts how you experience the world. When your body budget is balanced – you’re well-rested, hydrated, and nourished – you’re more likely to experience positive emotions and handle stress effectively. However, if your body budget is depleted – you’re tired, hungry, or dehydrated – you become more susceptible to negative emotions like irritability, anxiety, and sadness. Even a small imbalance can subtly skew your emotional landscape.

Tips for a Healthy Body Budget:

  • Prioritize sleep
  • Eat nutritious meals
  • Stay hydrated
  • Engage in regular physical activity
  • Manage stress effectively

Taking care of your body isn’t just about physical health; it’s also about emotional well-being. By ensuring your body budget is in good shape, you’re laying a solid foundation for emotional resilience. Small, consistent efforts can make a big difference in how you experience and navigate your emotions.

Ingredient 2: Your Current Situation

The context of your current situation plays a significant role in shaping your emotions. This includes everything from your immediate environment (e.g., a crowded room, a peaceful park) to your social interactions (e.g., a conversation with a friend, a confrontation with a colleague) and the broader circumstances of your life (e.g., a job loss, a new relationship). Your brain constantly assesses the situation, looking for potential threats, opportunities, and social cues. These assessments influence your emotional responses. For example, feeling anxious before a presentation is a natural response to a potentially stressful situation. Similarly, feeling joy when spending time with loved ones is a positive response to a safe and supportive environment.

It’s important to remember that your perception of the situation is just as important as the situation itself. Two people can experience the same event and have completely different emotional reactions, based on their individual perspectives, beliefs, and past experiences.

Ingredient 3: Your Brain’s Predictions

Your brain is constantly making predictions about what will happen next, based on your past experiences and learned patterns. These predictions influence your emotional state even before an event occurs. For example, if you’ve had negative experiences with public speaking in the past, your brain might predict a similar outcome for your next presentation, leading to feelings of anxiety and fear. Conversely, if you anticipate a positive outcome, you’re more likely to feel excited and confident.

These predictive processes are largely unconscious, but they have a profound impact on your emotional reality. By becoming aware of your brain’s predictions, you can start to challenge negative thought patterns and create more positive emotional experiences. Consider the last time you felt anxious about an upcoming event. What predictions was your brain making? Were these predictions based on accurate information, or were they influenced by past experiences and fears? By questioning these predictions, you can begin to reshape your emotional responses.

Putting it All Together

These three ingredients – your body budget, your current situation, and your brain’s predictions – interact in complex and dynamic ways to create your emotional experiences. Your body budget influences your baseline emotional state, your current situation provides the context for your emotions, and your brain’s predictions shape your expectations and responses. By understanding how these elements work together, you can gain greater control over your emotions and cultivate greater well-being.

Next Steps

Now that you understand the key ingredients of emotions, here are some practical steps you can take to apply this knowledge:

  • Self-assessment: Reflect on your own emotional patterns. What are your common emotional triggers? How does your body budget impact your emotions?
  • Meditations & Mindfulness: Practice meditations or mindfulness to become more aware of your current situation and your brain’s predictions. Plus this teaches you how to calm the nervous system.
  • Challenge Negative Thoughts: When you notice negative predictions, challenge their accuracy. Are they based on facts, or are they driven by fear? Therefore, its good to look at pass predictions the mind is using.
  • Prioritize Self-Care: Take care of your body budget through sleep, nutrition, and exercise.
  • Seek Support: Don’t hesitate to reach out to friends, family, or a therapist for support in managing your emotions. 
  • If you would like to learn how to meditate or learn more about how to understand emotions and stress management. You can contact Ricky directly here on the contact page or email benucation@gmail.com
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The positive effect of making space for our creative imagination

In our fast-paced world, where productivity and efficiency often take center stage, it can feel indulgent to dedicate time to imagination and creativity. Yet, making space for a creative imagination is not just a luxury; it’s an essential ingredient for personal growth, problem-solving, and overall well-being. From sparking innovation to fostering mental health, the benefits of nurturing creativity extend far beyond the artistic realm. Here’s why creating room for your imagination can positively transform your life.

1. Boosts Problem-Solving Skills

Creative imagination enables you to think beyond conventional solutions and approach challenges with a fresh perspective. Whether it’s a work-related issue or a personal dilemma, imaginative thinking encourages you to explore “what if” scenarios, uncover hidden opportunities, and devise innovative solutions. For example, many groundbreaking inventions—from the lightbulb to the smartphone—stemmed from someone’s ability to imagine possibilities that didn’t yet exist.

Takeaway: A creative mind is more adaptable and equipped to navigate life’s complexities.

2. Enhances Emotional Resilience

Engaging in imaginative activities—like painting, writing, or daydreaming—acts as a safe space to process emotions and explore alternative perspectives. It can help you work through stress, anxiety, or sadness by providing a mental escape or by framing challenges in a new light. Moreover, imagination allows you to envision positive outcomes, fostering hope and resilience even in difficult times.

Takeaway: Creativity is a natural outlet for emotional expression and healing.

3. Fuels Innovation and Success

History is rich with examples of creativity driving success in unexpected ways. Think of leaders like Steve Jobs, who emphasized the importance of combining technology and the arts, or authors like J.K. Rowling, who turned imaginative storytelling into a cultural phenomenon. By giving yourself permission to dream big, you can uncover ideas that propel your career or personal projects forward.

Takeaway: Creativity is a key driver of innovation and achievement.

4. Strengthens Relationships

Creativity can also play a vital role in building and maintaining relationships. Whether through collaborative projects, sharing imaginative ideas, or simply injecting humor and playfulness into interactions, imagination fosters connection. It helps you understand others’ perspectives, enhances empathy, and encourages more meaningful conversations.

Takeaway: A creative approach to relationships can deepen bonds and improve communication.

5. Promotes Lifelong Learning

Creative imagination is closely linked to curiosity, which drives a desire to learn and explore. When you engage your imagination, you’re more likely to seek out new experiences, acquire new skills, and challenge your current understanding of the world. This mindset not only keeps life exciting but also contributes to personal growth and adaptability.

Takeaway: A curious, imaginative mind stays vibrant and open to new opportunities.

6. Improves Mental Well-Being

Imaginative activities such as writing, drawing, or even daydreaming can serve as a form of mindfulness, helping you detach from everyday stressors. Engaging in these practices stimulates the brain’s reward center, releasing dopamine and improving mood. Additionally, immersing yourself in creative projects can lead to a state of “flow,” where time seems to stand still, and you feel fully present and content.

Takeaway: Creativity nurtures mental health by reducing stress and increasing happiness.

7. Expands Your Perspective

Imagination allows you to step into someone else’s shoes, explore alternate realities, and consider new possibilities. This broadens your worldview and helps you become more open-minded and accepting of differences. By imagining the world through a different lens, you cultivate empathy and gain insights that enrich your life.

Takeaway: A creative mind fosters understanding and inclusivity.

How to Make Space for Creativity

Incorporating creativity into your daily life doesn’t require grand gestures. Here are some simple strategies:

  • Schedule Downtime: Carve out time to let your mind wander without distractions.
  • Try Something New: Experiment with creative hobbies like painting, writing, or gardening.
  • Embrace Play: Engage in activities that feel fun and lighthearted, like playing games or improvising.
  • Reflect and Imagine: Spend time journaling or visualizing your dreams and goals.
  • Limit Screen Time: Create mental space by unplugging from digital devices.

Final Thoughts

Making space for a creative imagination isn’t just about self-expression; it’s about enriching every aspect of your life. From improved problem-solving and emotional resilience to stronger relationships and mental well-being, the benefits are profound. In a world that often prioritizes efficiency over creativity, taking the time to nurture your imagination is a powerful act of self-care and growth. So, let your mind wander—you never know where it might lead.

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Mindfulness vs. Meditation: Understanding the Differences

In today’s fast-paced world, the terms “mindfulness” and “meditation” have become buzzwords, often used interchangeably. However, while they share similarities and often complement each other, they are distinct practices with unique benefits. Understanding the differences between mindfulness and meditation can help you better integrate these practices into your daily life for improved mental and emotional well-being.

What is Mindfulness?

Mindfulness is the practice of being fully present and engaged in the current moment, aware of your thoughts, feelings, and sensations without judgment. It involves a heightened state of awareness and focus, allowing you to observe your internal and external experiences as they occur.

Key Aspects of Mindfulness:

• Present Moment Awareness: Mindfulness encourages you to stay in the present moment rather than dwelling on the past or worrying about the future.

• Non-Judgmental Observation: It involves observing your thoughts and feelings without labeling them as good or bad.

• Integration into Daily Life: Mindfulness can be practiced anytime and anywhere. It can be as simple as paying attention to your breath, savoring a meal, or fully engaging in a conversation.

What is Meditation?

Meditation is a broader term that encompasses various practices aimed at training the mind and cultivating a sense of inner peace and concentration. It often involves sitting quietly and focusing the mind on a particular object, thought, or activity to achieve mental clarity and emotional calmness.

Key Aspects of Meditation:

• Structured Practice: Meditation typically involves a set time and place, where you sit or lie down in a comfortable position and engage in a specific technique.

• Variety of Techniques: There are numerous meditation techniques, including mindfulness meditation, loving-kindness meditation, transcendental meditation, and guided visualization.

• Goal-Oriented: While the ultimate goal of meditation can vary, it often aims to reduce stress, increase concentration, and promote a sense of well-being.

How Do Mindfulness and Meditation Differ?

While mindfulness and meditation are interconnected, they differ in their approach and application:

1. Scope and Application:

• Mindfulness is a state of being that can be applied to any activity. You can be mindful while eating, walking, or working.

• Meditation is a dedicated practice that usually involves setting aside specific time to sit quietly and engage in a particular technique.

2. Purpose and Goals:

• Mindfulness aims to bring your awareness to the present moment in a non-judgmental way. It’s about being rather than doing.

• Meditation involves specific practices designed to train the mind, often with goals like reducing stress, enhancing focus, or achieving spiritual growth.

3. Techniques and Practices:

• Mindfulness can be practiced in any situation and does not necessarily require a formal setting. It’s about cultivating awareness in everyday activities.

• Meditation involves specific techniques and often requires a quiet space and dedicated time to practice, such as focusing on the breath, repeating a mantra, or visualizing a peaceful scene.

Complementary Practices

Despite their differences, mindfulness and meditation often complement each other. Mindfulness meditation is a common form of meditation that involves focusing on the present moment without judgment, effectively combining elements of both practices.

Benefits of Integrating Both Practices:

• Enhanced Self-Awareness: Both practices foster a deeper understanding of your thoughts, emotions, and behaviors.

• Reduced Stress and Anxiety: Regular practice can lead to lower stress levels and reduced anxiety.

• Improved Concentration and Focus: Meditation and mindfulness both enhance your ability to concentrate and stay focused on tasks.

• Greater Emotional Resilience: They help build emotional resilience, making it easier to navigate life’s challenges.

Getting Started

If you’re new to these practices, start small. Incorporate short periods of mindfulness into your daily routine, such as mindful breathing or mindful eating. Set aside a few minutes each day for meditation, gradually increasing the duration as you become more comfortable.

There are numerous resources available, including guided meditations, mindfulness apps, and local classes, to help you get started and deepen your practice.

In conclusion, while mindfulness and meditation are distinct practices, they share common goals and can greatly enhance your mental and emotional well-being when practiced regularly. Understanding their differences and how they complement each other allows you to integrate these powerful tools into your life more effectively.

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How to get out of the rut of feeling stuck

Sometimes we can get to this stage of stagnation or a continuous cycle of behaviour. Whether this happens through difficult circumstances or just the state of mind we are in. Furthermore, it could be due to mental health.

Whatever the case there is hope. There are to major things we can do or use to get back to balance of feeling neutral or ourselves again. Of course not all remedies work as it may be neurological. However, we will look into these two major things that I have used and learnt when dealing with my own struggles and navigating my states of low mood or mild depression.

The two things are movement and stillness. Basically using the opposites to get back to balance or feeling new. This push and pull is powerful. The body needs movement to unblock stagnant energy in the body and then it needs rest, sleep and loads of moments of stillness. E.g meditation or periods of non movement, non doing. When these two are being used correctly you get a thing called flow, zone or natural states. The thing they call regulated nervous system. A healthy body and mind.

The body needs both movement and stillness. It requires you to find your own rhythm as well. Therefore there are things you need to discover about yourself which is also important but exciting.

When you find these things. No matter what you go through you will be able to get through. Again we can’t rush this our body lets us know, we just have to keep going or keep resting enough to find the right balance. The hard part is knowing what decision to take that will benefit your body and mind when it’s exhausted or overthinking etc. At times we feel we can’t move and then there are days we are on the go. The key here is knowing when to put your body and mind first regardless. Self care is paramount to anything. If we don’t put ourselves first. This is the only period where we can prolong its resetting or getting back to normal heathy states of feeling and consciousness.

It’s ok though, this practice or experience can take years to master or maybe not, it all depends on the person and where they are, but it’s worth it even if it feels like it takes forever. We cannot rush it but we can keep making progress. It’s something that is not taught in school but I think more soft skills are being taught now which is good.

So, movement of any kind that your body likes and stillness whenever you can do it, is critical in developing emotional fitness. Nevertheless, seeking support and help, having a network and being open also helps immensely. Everything starts with us.

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What are Movement meditations and how do they help?

Movement meditations are something that we already know, they can be tai chi, yoga, even doing something therapeutic such as ironing, to cleaning the house. Meditation is just a name, meditation is actually what you make it. It is not the common ideal picture we have of sitting in an upright position, such as transcendence meditation, which I’ll go into later.

Transcendence, meditation, is the effortless meditation, which I actually do, which is effortless, and relaxed where you are not of the mind and of thoughts and completely immersed in your body and the present moment. This type of meditation is not for everyone. Some people may have an active mind, or have anxiety, or for many reasons, have an active mind which makes it difficult to do transcendence meditation. But that’s okay, because you have movement meditation.

Walking meditation, is one of them, It’s, where you are grounded in that present moment without talking, and just taking in the scenery, or the forest, or the park, this is still a meditation, this is enabling you to be mindful.

Some people ask how can walking be a meditation, as mentioned before meditation is a category, it is a word, but meditation can come in many different forms, and the good thing about it is that there are meditations for everyone.

The other forms of moving meditations, are tai chi, yoga, and that therapeutic ironing that we love to do, well for some of us. Qi Gong, is one of them also dancing, whatever brings you into that present moment whether you’re being mindful, or it takes your thinking away is still a meditation. Therefore, depending on what is needed for you at that present moment in your life, will determine what meditation is needed. As mentioned before, if the mind is active, that’s okay movement meditation is also there as a tool for you.

Depending on what movement meditation you are doing and if you want to go into a more still, relaxed meditation, movement meditation could be the prerequisite or the foundation to going into a deeper level of meditation. so you could start off with movement meditation, which is more active, and then maybe using music as a meditation as there are various forms of music that can take you into different states and then finally this could lead into the transcendence meditation, which is just you and your being.

So you could do mindful meditation, which helps you be more present, and bring your thoughts into this moment, and into what’s actually happening in your body and life, or you could use meditation for concentration to help you feel less distracted, you could use guided meditation to help assist you in your meditation, as well as using observation meditation to take you outside of yourself and concentrate and observe your thoughts and feelings in that way.

Movement meditation, overall is a great start to lead you onto any other meditation, depending on what you need, but just using movement meditation is enough to help you

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How to overcome strong emotions

One of the tricky ones, strong emotions, these can be with us from childhood or just our everyday fears, but overcoming them or should I say becoming more comfortable with them is possible

There are a few ways you can approach strong emotions, and they are different for everyone, however experience is the master. Doing something a number of times also helps but if you find that even more upsetting or difficult then taking your time and giving yourself space is essential. Being gentle and kind to yourself.

So lets look into strong overwhelming emotions. First, do we know the source, the idea the circumstance the experience that birth them? If we know the root we can go back and take action even if it feels daunting. If so, someone can support you, this is where you may a need a push or assistance that’s ok.

So, firstly, time is key, whatever you take action on needs time, and space. This happens when you start to give that emotion attention in a different way. The mind may not like it but it’s ok, its something you are wanting to change. It’s natural for the mind and your emotions to do this. Therefore, attention will cause disruption but hey that’s what we want to do, to overcome them or have a deeper understanding of them to feel more positive about them.

Next is expressing them in a different avenue, for example when I was going through the emotions of anger for years, these were already being expressed in a negative destructive, harmful way until I focused or directed them through the arts which was music. You might want to use something else, but while I was using music creation I was getting in tune to what I was feeling by writing music. You can do this through sports or anything you feel connected too.

Self-help books are amazing, the ones that help with emotional regulation and how the mind makes predictions and recalls emotions, a great book is called How emotions are made. These types of books help with understanding the brain, nervous system and linking them to events etc.

If possible, taking breaks from heavy overwhelming environments. If you can, this will enable you to look at things in a different light. Meaning self reflection. We need many quiet and silent periods in our lives to go over all that we say and do, and how we behave. This is difficult to do when going 100mph.

That leads onto being present, presence with your being allows us to reflect, change and adjust, but this needs priority and discipline to go through the tough motions of sitting with the emotions. Once we do this enough times when we go back into difficulties or hardships we can master our emotions at that time and then go over how we did. It then becomes a learning curve for us. We won’t always be controlled and relaxed as we are human its ok to be emotional an expressive and outspoken but we will be able to be pose and calm and not allow strong emotions to flood over us when we are alone with our thoughts

Photo by Demeter Attila on Pexels.com
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How the arts make a positive impact in our lives

My creativity didn’t start until my early 20s, the art that really made a significant impact in my life which is Music.

My mum had a stack of records which I would play for hours on end, and also then we had the cassette tapes which broke every two minutes, but you had the patience to put it back together because you couldn’t live without Music.

Music gave breath and substance to life, it told stories, processed emotions, and painted pictures, entertained and gave hope and deeper understanding about human relationships. Furthermore, when we started going to clubs as a teenager, I really saw how powerful Music was.

If you think about it, music brings communities, and people together, other than the other arts, such as drama, but Music is monumental, not saying it’s more important. It’s just more contagious and prevalent in our every day lives compared to the other arts. Luckily, I was fortunate to meet very musical people and run a Music publishing business for 10 years before I got into health and well-being as a career.

But in this blog I wanted to explain how music helped me create. I built my own Studio and Music was the foundation and sole significant reason why my healing was easier to go through as a young person.

I was going through a lot mentally and emotionally at that time, and Music was not only my way out. It was my way in. It did so much more than I can explain, and anyone that is moved by the arts, will understand this,

So from saying that, now I have established Soundwell which is a music and wellness platform, which is online that helps people to tap into their creative side, even if they have no previous experience. It’s not just for those that want to use music to aid wellbeing , but for those that just want to have fun, cause that’s what music is as well. It’s pleasing to hear it’s entertaining it’s exciting it’s moving it brings people together, but most of all it’s supportive and loving its courage. It brings wisdom, peace and happiness. It does so much things.

Another reason is that if you haven’t tapped into the creative side, music is one way where you can start, but if you feel the other arts are interesting please do explore and try. Even if it’s for once a week, once you get into the zone its the best feeling ever.

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From Distress to Emotional Fitness

Emotional fitness is a fairly new term within the world of health and well-being. What it actually means is to be able to maintain, resolve, sustain and consistently find strength, when faced with challenges, stress, worry, and so forth.

The word is very similar to emotional wellness, emotional wellness again means the same thing, and also just being in a place, and having the skills to be resilient, on top of things, and knowing where to take yourself from one difficult situation to a place of resetting your nervous system and your logical mind and emotional body.

It is good to highlight, like any other person there are times when we don’t handle things well, we do become stressed or overwhelmed and that’s okay that’s all a part of life, but as you practice and observe yourself through the situations and circumstances you start to become more aware and you find, a map a inner map or compass to take you through the distressful events, whether that will be at work or in your personal life. It’s okay to not be okay though, sometimes we don’t have it all together and we’re not perfect. .

My emotional fitness levels are not the same as they were 20 years ago, and I’ve had significantly great people in my life that have guided me and provided sound mentorship to get to the place I am at today, I have gone back and forth throughout the years too. However, overall I’ve enjoyed the growth in the process. This is an important part to mention that to get to a level of emotional fitness, you have to enjoy self growth and self preservation in a sense, because that perspective will get you through the darkest times.

In the beginning, it may be difficult to sustain or remember, or utilise the information provided to yourself, or when you’re getting to know yourself and that can be difficult. However, finding what works uniquely for you is very helpful, knowing what you’re not as opposed to what you want to be, so that means understanding your capabilities, knowing your sensitivity levels, are key aspects of having a practical and productive level of skills in your life. When you are going through particular challenges in life, your mind, sometimes wants to already be at that place of peace and calm or in control which will then force you to want to speed up which would then create extra stress. Therefore, in this period what you ideally want to do is remember to take things slow and take things a day at a time, and really slow down the process, and again, this is one of the most difficult things to do, but it’s just something to be mindful of. This skill is having control of the thoughts and not the thoughts or feelings having control of you, basically not being too attached to the identity of the thoughts and feelings enough to observe them and then alter them.

So, whenever you are in a situation or circumstance, where you find yourself stressed, worried, unable to cope, it’s just being conscious, and mindful of how you are going to respond to the situation, and you don’t always get it right and sometimes you might have a laugh and think gosh, I didn’t do well this time, but that’s okay, that’s all part of developing and acquiring emotional fitness. To be honest it could take years to get to a level where you’re happy with your emotional fitness, wellness levels, I would never say it’s a speedy process but as the old saying goes it’s a journey not a destination and I know especially when something is painful or unpleasant you want things just to be okay and want to be in a better place which is natural.