We all have a certain limit of stress that we can handle, especially if there are two or three situations or circumstances that are happening at one time. Maybe its unresolved stresses from the past or triggers that affect us.
Whatever stresses us, the first thing we need to do is learn our nervous system, how that functions what affects us from the past, present and future and working day by day with ourselves and understanding how we react in the world. When dealing with different stresses, it is key to test ourselves within these circumstances, being able to observe how we are feeling and reacting and responding. There are two sides to this. Sometimes it’s us blaming the outside experience, or it could be the case of us not mastering our own internal emotional world. Knowing which one it is, is up to us and it’s something that we can learn as we grow and mature.
You may read things about taking responsibility for every situation, however, I disagree, not everything falls on yourself, sometimes we need boundaries, we need respect, we need others to also take accountability for their actions, especially if it’s projection of oneself and their own emotional experiences. Indeed, we can get to a place where we understand, and master others around us, but that doesn’t mean that we should be taken for granted.
Equanimity is a state of being, calm, serene mind within the face of adversity, stress, chaos, and difficulties. I first came across this state of being when studying Buddhism. As I was dealing with anger as a young person within my 20s and early 30s, the state of Equanimity helped me immensely. It’s also called the act of non-self interference. Again, it’s not to be mistaken for apathy, meaning, no emotion, numb, not feeling things or being responsive.
It means to be able to manage your emotions in a good way, without self sabotaging and creating extra friction and conflict within yourself, when it comes to difficult experiences and people. It’s a practice that some people have innately or it can be learned over time. Enabling you to manage or deal with problems more effectively.
The beginning practice is to observe yourself throughout every interaction and conversation with others and yourself. How are you responding? Not judging yourself, it should be like this and that, that’s interfering. What you want to do is get to a state where you are neither for or against it. Letting it not take over you but moving towards it. This is not to be rushed it is to be tested and used until it flows through you naturally. It then becomes a new you. A new perspective, a new alternative, a new approach, a healthy relationship with yourself and the outside world in deep concentration but non attachment to.
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