I remember anger being such a heavy emotion for me. I was holding it for 10years or more. At first I didn’t even know I was holding onto it. Luckily a colleague was brave enough to mention it to me after some time of knowing him. Even my closet friends saw it within me but never brought it up. It’s hard to address when you don’t know others will react. However what my colleague told me more importantly was that I affecting my loved ones
What happened in that moment of feedback, clarity, awareness was a deep reflection of how I was affecting others and myself. It was a start of surrendering and releasing this emotion that one I didn’t even know was affecting others but two was so powerful but yet subtle and quiet to my understanding. It felt like it was a part of my personality, it was what I was used to.
Now it took another 3-4 years to actually start seeing the release and surrender of this emotion. It was a journey of inner peace and compassion for my difficult pass. It was the reason why I called Benucation Benu. It felt that way. I felt like a new person. It wasn’t easy but I’m grateful for that one person who advised me unintentionally I guess. Once I unblocked that held and powerful emotion I could finally rest in myself enjoying the moments and dealing with other difficulties in a whole new way.
I noticed anger in others, the resentment that is built up over every interaction and disappointment and disrespect. Which again is all logical and normal. We have boundaries crossed and we have the right to be upset or frustrated. However, it’s what we do with it next which is fundamentally important. How long does it linger in the emotional body. How long do we hold grudges and judgement slowly making us serious and on edge.
Releasing the burden takes its own time. It can be long or short but there’s no rush to it no matter how much it hurts. It has to have its own timing to be processed properly within the body and the mind. Getting comfortable with the emotion, situation, and yourself
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